Until recently i never regret that i have hypersensitive body. But when i became unhealthy so often like nowadays, of course i do regret and feel sad. I am just an ordinary human.
I am always wondering why God give me such body. But immediately i always find the answer, "Oh because your mom and dad, both of them also have hypersensitive body. You are their daughter, of course you too will have the same pattern in your body system."
I'm allergic to this, I'm allergic to that. I can't even say anymore that I enjoy my life to the fullest.
I have so many strict rules to keep my body healthy and when i break that rules just once, then BAM. There will be some unwanted reaction from my body, I'll become sick.
Its really hard for me just to keep healthy and fit. So when I see someone who easily break the rules (have bad lifestyle) and they can keep healthy. It really break my hearts and think that this life is really not fair.
When I do this, it will look like that I blame God for everything. Yeah, maybe I do.
"Why me, Why?" This question always in my mind. But just asking this and waiting for some miracle to happen, it will not give any solution for me.
Even though nowadays, I can't even eat most of my favorite foods and drinks anymore. Its fine by me. I've lived for 21 years and enjoy this life to the fullest. I felt satisfied, I guess.
I'm just trying to convince myself to love and receive me myself. I'm sorry God that sometimes I blame you for my condition. Please forgive me. Just don't ever leave me alone and help me to convince myself that what happened is the best for me. And thank you God for granted my other wish. You will always fulfill my wish. Thank you God. I love you
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar